Being raised by an African mother, there are good chances you will never throw a tantrum in front of her, much less direct to her. That doesn’t just happen. If you could try, it is likely to earn you a hot slap on your cheeks. Whatever your objection to a situation, please just stay in a humble state and avoid annoying her in the process.
You get flogged. You are likely to be whipped with drumsticks, electric cables, canes, or even your papa’s belt. If you aren’t careful this situation might drive you to depression or even run away from home. The best way to avoid this is to be a disciplined child or maybe her favorite child.
School is everything to African mums. Even if you always topped your class with top grades I assure you your report cards will still be scrutinized like they were some Al-Qaeda cables in the hands of the CIA.
If you are unmarried more so when you are a lady, moving out always offensive to your mom. Your mother will always get worried about all the unholy staff you will do when you are on your own. But mostly she will be offended that you don’t deem her capable of taking care of you anymore and that when the phrase; “So you think you are big enough to take care of yourself” comes in.
This is mostly of ladies though. Unless you intend to get married, you don’t introduce your fiance to your mother or papa. Introducing your boyfriend is equivalent to marriage in most African societies. Once you introduce your mate you better stick to them for life. The introduction is as elaborate as your average wedding anyway. So just make sure your boyfriend doesn’t ever set foot in your parent’s compound if you are not ready for the big move. And if your brothers see him standing at the fence of your compound, they will throw dirty dishwater at him. Whatever happens, it should not reach your mother’s ears. Never let your mother know your boyfriend because if she does that might be the first time you ever see her cry.
By age 6 you should be able to do housework. That includes cleaning the house, dishwashing if you are a lady but for men, you should be able to start knowing how to graze and plough.
You see your grandparents for a longer duration at least once a year. We have three school breaks in a year and at least one of them you will spend with your grandparents in the village.
Your mother is commonly referred by the name of her firstborn child, for example, mama Brian if her firstborn child is named Brian. You may never know her given name until you have to fill out a school form.
No matter how few the syllables in your name are, your mother will always call you by a shortened one Like if your name if Pauline your mother is likely to call you Lyn. Again apart from your given name, you are likely to have a pet given to you by your mother and in my culture the names Mzee, Boy, and Rateng’ are common.
If someone comes to lay a complaint against you, it’s cultural for your mother to sometimes chastise you publicly and then comfort you privately.
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If however, it’s something major, expect the opposite. She’ll stand her ground and protect you but whip your brains out when you get home.
Sign Language: African mothers communicate through sign language.
When offered sweets/food during a courtesy visit, it is wise to look in the direction of your mother and received the all-clear (friendly smile) or the try-that-and-die stare.
If she suddenly stops in the hallway and stares at you, makes sure you instantly try to remember what chore or errand is left hanging.
All in all, in my second world I would still choose to be raised by an African mother because to me they are the best and am proud of them.
