Dear Martha
I’m a cis bi woman, and I sleep only with men. I have a really gross problem, sorry.
It’s been a problem for as long as I’ve been sexually active—but in the past few years, it seems to have gotten out of hands. If I am being penetrated vaginally, especially if it’s rough (which I like a lot), and I orgasm, I occasionally poop accidentally. If I try to clench up to keep this from happening, it just doesn’t work. This used to happen once in a while, only with particularly intense orgasms, but now it occurs more often. There is this guy I’ve been seeing really likes anal, and that makes the issue even worse.
Just to be clear: I have no desire for poop during sex. It’s gross, it’s embarrassing, and my partners don’t enjoy it. Neither do I. I’ve tried going to the bathroom before sex, but that can’t help too. I even went to a doctor for consultation, but all I got was a big shrug with no useful suggestions.
This really frustrates! Do you have any suggestions? Other than “give up sex completely,” which I would prefer not to do?
Rebecca.
Dear Rebecca
Pooping during sex is pretty weird but this may be happening due to a wide variety of reasons. First, your body might be full of semi-solid and liquid material, and when you relax your body during sex, these liquids may leak out. When this happened, it is very likely because of the intense pleasure that you feel during sex.
Pooping during sex activity may only occur at the beginning of the intercourse, during the climax, or a few minutes after you are done.
You are also likely to experience the feeling of wanting to pass stool during kinds of sex and sexual positions. For example, you are likely to poop during sex when you have sex positions that put pressure on the abdomen. Vaginal penetration or vaginal sex in certain positions may make you feel that your bowel, especially the rectum is full.
You may also be pooping during sex because of your body. Due to complications in your body brought in by surgery, disease, stress, or medicine, may make you lose control over your bowel function. This may increase your chances of pooping during intercourse.
Another common cause of pooping during sex is damage to the muscles surrounding the anus. Nerve injuries especially those which control your anal opening can also cause pooping. This damages may be caused by childbirth, certain diseases such as diabetes, inflammatory bowel disease, and multiple sclerosis or frequent straining while passing stool.
Bowel incontinence may happen if your rectum protrudes through the vagina or when the vein in the rectum swell causing hemorrhoids – a condition that keeps your anus from closing completely hence allowing the stool to leak out.
This may mostly occur during orgasm as in your condition when there is a contraction of muscles and your body tenses then relax in a short time.
How To Avoid Pooping During Sex
Pooping during sex just once may not indicate a significant health problem but if it occurs frequently you need to visit a physician.
The following things may help you reduce the possibility of pooping during sex:
- Try experimenting with other sexual positions that don’t put pressure on your abdomen (such as woman on top, or spooning).
- You can also talk to your partner about sex. Much of the anxiety related to pooping during sex may be caused by the fact that you don’t talk about sex with your partner. When you are going to have sex, but you have no control of passing poop, discuss it with your sexual partner to reduce anxiety.
- You should also drink a lot of fluids, eat fiber-rich foods, and exercise frequently
- Avoid straining during bowel movements, which can weaken the anal sphincter muscles or damage nerves, possibly leading to fecal incontinence.
If the problem is caused by medical reasons, then your physician will diagnose the issues and advise you on the appropriate treatment to help you control your bowel movements.
